The Long Goodbye Continued

It’s taken me a good long while to get to making this video. I’d also like to make a blog post accompanying it so I can give you a bit more insight in to what’s going on, and generally share a bit more of my life-happenings with you guys.

So, there we have it: I’ve unofficially left YouTube. As I’m typing this I’m already thinking about making a video tonight about the fact I’m still blogging… You see, I’m experiencing the return of that achy feeling of longing in my chest cavity. That is, the desire to succeed as an artist in my field.

I first experienced this feeling of focussed frustration while I was watching Emma Gillespie¬†(Emma’s Imagination) doing her first audition on Sky HD’s answer to the X Factor, Must be the Music. All the while I was thinking to myself, “I can do that! Why aren’t I doing that?” and Dave, sitting there next me, practically had to hold me to the sofa every time I saw any footage of her. She’s exactly where I want to be at 27. Well, maybe not exactly, but I want to attain that level of songcraft, stage presence, and of course, mainstream success (but not too mainstream, of course. *smug hipster intonation*).

Emma Gillespie
Emma’s Imagination before she hit it big on Must Be The Music.

So, here I sit in my lunch hour obsessing over this thing in the distance that I know I’m going to get to, while slowly coming to the realisation that the only bridge available is the one currently lying in the form of raw materials by the river bank. I’m going to have to work out my own way there.

Another person I’m drawing inspiration from, and an increased stubbornness to make it as an unsigned, independent artist before anything else, is Beauty. You may have read about him in my previous post about image. I’ve been listening through his album on MySpace and gleaning every possible piece of production information; lyrical structure, melodic technique, vocal delivery and drum and synth programming. Since my next album will have flavours of this R&B electropop style, I’m determined to learn from his example.

I have to do this… I have to make it to where I want to go. If nothing else, it will curb the onset of insanity that I’m positive would take over if I continued to do nothing. I know I’m not making a lot of sense to many people, not least one fellow Fleetwoodite that shall remain nameless because I’m not that petty. You’ll find his input on my ‘My Name Is Caryl’ parody video. No need to publish the username either, you’ll know exactly who I mean. It’s people like him that are nothing put potholes in my road. Sooner or later, I right myself and get back on the straight with improved pothole evasion tactics. Having said that, I much prefer being on the good end of this learning process. Progress is rarely pleasant, is it?

Oh yeah, by the way, got another open mic gig coming up this Friday. Gonna use tonight to rehearse while hubby is out having business meetings.

Onward to better things!


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